The Black Autist

Note: This article also appears in Disability Community for Democracy, Inc.’s newsletter, Nothing About Us Without Us, with additional ways to support the organization that I am part of now. Additionally, this article may contain more profanity than I typically use, so please read with caution and avoid sharing it with children. 

Fellow disabled Chicagoans, allies, and disabled folx affected by the growing militarism…we are in a war zone, and we are in the middle of it.

I, a life-long Chicagoan for most of my life, am in the crosshairs of a mini Civil War, where the federal government is threatening the livelihoods of people in a particular local area with illegal raids. 

Why the illegal and pointless raids, which I feel are targeting ANYONE? I refuse to believe it’s about the safety of Chicago; within the first six months, the overall crime rate has decreased by about 21 percent. I seldom see much crime on the North Side, and whenever I visit my home side of town, the South Side. I believe in Mayor Johnson and his administration’s efforts to focus more on creating opportunities for youth (e.g., schools, employment, after-school programs, mentorship) than on heavily policing parts of Chicago. And while immigration regulation is important, there are processes in place where the federal government doesn’t just barge into neighborhoods and harass immigrants (or anyone they suspect is are immigrant, including U.S. citizens). 

This invasion is about two things: 

• This is an extension of the Trump Administration’s beef against Chicago, stemming back to 2016 when protesters drove Trump and his campaign team out of Chicago and forced them to cancel his scheduled presidential campaign rally. I was fortunate to be one of the protesters who helped drive that man out of town; I covered the protest and an anti-Anita Alvarez rally on that day through my photography for the Black Autist.
• This is a micro example of the Trump Administration’s efforts to erase and subjugate anyone and anything that is not white, cis-bodied, and ‘normal’ (non-disabled) through misinformation and intimidation. 

It’s already a struggle to live within the City of Chicago, when rent is ridiculously high, while housing is getting more inaccessible & exclusive, the cost of food (with & without SNAP) is high, and there are still many food deserts where you don’t have access to fresh food and produce. Before the Illinois General Assembly bailed out the Chicagoland public transit system, there were discussions of increasing public transportation fares even further, which would have made traveling more expensive and inaccessible for people with disabilities who may not qualify for reduced or free fares. Even with that bailout, I still question whether it also means the Chicagoland area will invest in a failing paratransit system or, at the very least, add more rides back to the rideshare program. Do not get me started with national threats to all disability-related benefits like Medicaid, SNAP, educational and work accommodations, and more. And it’s challenging to secure a meaningful, full-time job with accommodations without undervaluing yourself; thus, you’re resorting to living off of SSI alone, hustling, or taking any jobs that are available, even if they are shitty or temporary. 

When you add all that with the fear that ICE and (if called upon via executive order) the Illinois National Guard may target you because of your race, disability, and more marginalized identities from any Chicago ward (yes, you are not safe in Lakeview or Lincoln Park either, just like anything can happen in Little Village, Pilsen, Downtown, Englewood, or South Shore), you may feel afraid to come out the house. 

Just imagine you’re Timotheus Gordon, Jr. for a few moments. You’re a king-sized Black man with locs, roaming the Chicago streets with some neurodivergence. You may be just jamming to your iMusic, oblivious to impending dangers beyond crossing the street and watching out for pickpockets. All of a sudden, you get questioned by ICE, and you try your hardest to explain you’re a U.S. citizen, you’re autistic, and you don’t know why you’re being stopped. They take that as you being a smart ass, or find you weird because you speak more like a Southerner or someone living in the Caribbean than a Chicagoan (whatever that means), and because your speaking pattern is interesting to them. Or perhaps they may have heard of your self-advocacy through your writings and TV appearances, hence being on the federal shit list. At any rate, ICE agents cuff you and detain you; you might get your ass kicked if you try to fight them off because you’re scared and still clusterfucked over what is taking place. 

Yes. This is my fear, which I face each time I leave the friendly confines of work and home. Plus, I dealt with law enforcement violence before in 2008-09 during my undergraduate years, where I mistook bouncers and undercover cops in plain clothes for random people throwing my older brother out of the club and attempting to jump him. Intuitively, I stepped in ready to fight off the ‘thugs’, until someone tripped me from behind and cuffed me on the ground. That’s when I realized these were bouncers and undercover cops, and why my brother was thrown out: he had a little bit too much to drink, but because a group of people confronted him, I thought it was people giving him a hard time. Without my bro yelling, “he’s autistic! He didn’t know, and he’s home from college, he’s autistic!”, we would’ve been stuck in a cell and have to explain to my dear, poor mother what happened, and I probably would have been banned from going out ever again without an entourage. Luckily, after explaining to the officers that I was just taking him out of the club and wasn’t trying to start trouble, they uncuffed us and let us go. 

So if that happened to me over mistaking undercover cops for random thugs, imagine what could happen to me if I confront ICE and there is no one to vouch for me at the moment. We’re talking about a possible explanation to my son and my goddaughter, both six years old at the time I wrote this piece, about how their father figure will either be gone for a long time due to jail or escaping the U.S., or not coming back because ICE killed him. 

It is not safe for disabled people in Chicago right now, especially for disabled, Deaf, and neurodivergent people of color like myself who already look like “threats”. But here I am, still fighting for myself and my community through advocacy and speaking up, as I do now. 

To my fellow disabled Chicagoland and allies, you can and you WILL fight back against the terror taking place in our home. I believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself at the moment. Here are some examples of how you can support marginalized communities affected by the militarized invasion:

• Speak up and speak out by publishing your writings, photos, and videos to social media, digital media platforms, and your local and national news sources. Sharing your story can encourage more people to advocate for the Chicago disability community during these scary times.
• Join disability community-led and centered organizations, such as ADAPT, independent living centers (including Access Living and Progress Center for Independent Living), the Chicagoland Disabled People of Color Coalition, NAMED Advocates, and Disability Community for Democracy, Inc. 
• Share ‘know-your-rights’ information with people who want and need guidance on how to deal with ICE confrontations. 
• Share or donate to local mutual aid.